Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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