like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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