Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
