The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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