so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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