I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
