wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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