Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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