Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
