Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
