As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
