Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
