i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
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No one is worth the sensation of burning and stinging crotch.
Lol I've used body wash before....wow did I really just say that...I'm fucking pathetic
Conditioner is better
9:45 you've never actually measured your boyfriend's penis with a ruler because he won't let you. You are just guessing based off of how much porn you watch and you are guessing wrong.
Please never reproduce u loser skank whore.
It truly amazes me how little people know about anatomy.
I have an 8 inch coxk, and I wanna put it in a hott
my dick is 65 inches long
...thanks a lot, asshole. Now I'll never be able to use Pantene Pro-V again without thinking of some douche like you jacking off with it. Stick to the Vaseline next time, please?
1117 is obviously a dumbass niggra...they should all be sterile. Maybe just a flash a radiation at birth? Well just the ones born on welfare...
No 8:55, that's the length of the region with enough nerves to feel the length of it. Girth? Definitely. Length? Not so much.
Makes my pubes shiny and manageable!!!
Use your mom's facial scrub lotion next time for much success.
conditioner is better. i leave the hair silky and smoooooth.
You used it not so much because it is "better" so much as it was due to you being lonely and ugly,
Have fun with your infection.
Seriously, not EVERYTHING is a healthy replacement for lube.
Ur dick is going to turn purple and fall off.
Stay classy Massachusetts
keep it in your pants 11:14.
lololol 9:56 - your right
hahaha 10:26 thats fucking glorious
wow 11;30 has clearly never developed a sense of humor....oviously the kid that said 65 inches was joking. no need to take everything literally, jackass
Well known fact: Those who state a dick size are tellin nothing but lies ;)
@ 8:51: Is that what your gf told you to make you feel better about your four incher?
9:45 don't flatter youself, shut your mouth and get back to being the fat ugly virgin loner you are :)
i wouldn't have a problem with this site if the whole user submitting process wasnt a big lie
I did it once and it stung for three days then my skin started peeling off and I had to pull skin off my 8 inch dick and part of my ball sack. One of the most painful experiences ever.
To all you dumbasses who are bragging about ur dick size, or ur boyfriends dick size, suck on this: a woman can only feel 4 inches of it, and any more than 8 inches will do serious internal damage.
Your pussy is hard? Uh. No.
What is lube used for??
Haha 8:51 is so full of shit "a woman can only feel 4 inches" that's the biggest load of crap. My first was 5.5 in. Sex was boring
One of my friends once used lipgloss as lube
Why would a girl get yeast infection of shampoo?
im gonna jerk off.. any hot guys wanna suck me? ohioo guy a t y a h o o d o t c o m
11 40 soap doesn't kill bacteria unless its anti-bacterial...so shampoo wouldnt do anything
i used body wash the other day in the shower, the only problem was the water washed all of it away and there was too much friction, that was not good.
and 12 11 ive used shampoo plenty of times, youd have to be an idiot not to wash it off when your done. then your dick wouldn't peel
Seven inch dick??? My bf has a foot long...
Lol, conditioner sounds safer
Has to be a girl... Very guy learns at 12/13 that shampoo makes your dick peel and I fuckin hurts for a couple days... There's an old SNL skit about a "scaling cream" hahahaha it had Steve Martin in it I think
Love that:) we need more tv add references lol
I've used Shampoo before, not smart. I causes cracking on the skin. Not sure if it's actually skin or if the shampoo that leaves some kind of film that is IMPOSSIBLE to wash off. But I'll just say it's very painful to peal off. I was even dumb enough to try it with different brands. Same result. But on my behalf, it's tough to find something to pass as lube in your parent's house when you're 15.
You mean -6.5? 65 would most likely be taller then you my failure friend. Little kid.
Omg really people. No one has ever had a big dick before? Like an 8 incher. Why is everyone getting all butt hurt over what 945 said? Maybe he/she has a big bf. Whoooo caresssss. And whyyyyy do people have to insult him/her?? Fuck.
did you use no tear soap so your eyes wouldn't burn?
i think everyone is missing the point of this website; the whole idea behind it is for people to post the dumb things that they do so that we can get a good laugh. masturbating with shampoo is clearly not the best idea, therefore it is funny. i think everyone needs to relax.
956 stfu maybe he/she did measure and your just upset because your too ugly to get laid period. So youuu resolve to watching porn. And wishing you even had a bf to guess his dick size.
Nice pun :) very funny
Almost funny--nice progress
@9:11 You're my hero.
I've used conditioner before it was in the shower and a fun time ;p
I would usually never post on here, but "9:56" is actually right about his/her first statement... And most of you all are just serious idiots. And 11:28- I agree. And as someone else posted earlier, i don't give a fuck about you or any of your boyfriends dick sizes.
1125. Why do people like you have to assume like that. How the fuck do we know what anyone looks like? Your prolly just trying to make yourself okay about being a failure at life and a fat fuck yourself. So don't make yourselfff out to be holyer than thou.
9:47, that would be Billy Madison.
9:45pm - Is obviously a fat, sloppy virgin. No guys dick is 9 inches. Get urself a lay
I'm a girl. I've done that and never got a yeast infection or any type of infection... why are people insisting you will...
criso and garnier conditioner also work well
Don't let it dry on there cause it'll hurt like a bitch later
Okay this can't be a chic because...seriously ow. It could be someone who has never actually gotten soap products in that area and just made up a text. I'm thinking fail.
Woa. Why is everyone hating on poor 956? Lol. And WTF cares about your bfs dick size!
@ 3;21 - Uhh yeah there are guys that have 9 inch wangs.
11:30, did everyone use it as a jump rope on the playground?
Ooo. Eat me out baybe! Suck and lick my hot wet hard pussy!!!!!!
It's not about the length as much as how he knows how to use it. I wouldn't trade my guy for anything in the world.
U where better off with spit.
Because soap kills all tht good bacteria in the vagina that fight of bad bacteria that give you infections. If soap gets like innnn there. Not just a wash up.
If you're not even able to get wet, maybe you're not that worthed.
bottle of lor'eal shampoo - 5$ --- clean pubes afterwards - priceless
Woooowwww little arument we got goin on here. All I gotta say iz 956 u gotta stop bein such a hard ass and stop actin like u got sum expirience cuz u dnt got shit. How u know her/hiz bf dnt get sum kix measurin hizself?
Are you people pretending that this isn't normal? I've done this hundreds of times, why lie about it? I prefer liquid body soap like the guy a few posts before me.
@8:51 Is that how you make yourself feel better my bf has between 8.5-9 and I don't have serious internal damage. However your little pea shooter has evidently given you serious psycological damage.
my dick is 65 FEET long.
Texas as in Cody from Dallas? Fuck no...I tried shampoo years ago...definately not the most glorious moment in my life.
Hahahahaha must use l'oreal!
Doesn't that dyin it
10:58<3 9:56 your too lame for words. Get laid by and stfu
there was this kid in middle school who went to the hospital for jackin off with shampoo. now he's known in high school as "SHAMPOO" lmao!
2:49 I fuckinlove you
This Mexican dude used a k-mart bag for a condom on this one chick.
NEVER SHAMPOO YOUR DICK/ PUBES. it's easily the most painful experience I have ever had. My dick became blackened and I couldn't get it up for weeks. I thought I accidentally sterilized myself. It was HORRIBLE.
Ive used it before, it felt good
12:00 lol that's what i was thinking!
stop looking at me swaaaaaan!
"Shampoo is good....but conditiona is betta."
Name that quote.
when I anally masturbate... I just don't wipe first... Lube enough.
or at least olive oil! hahahaha
Did someone really refer to their boyfriend as a footlong? I feel like we are talking about a subway sandwich.
That shit burns if used anally
@321 your fucking stupid. Just because you haven't ever had a big dick in your life and settle for below avarage sloppy seconds doesn't mean that a guy can't have a 8.5 inch dick. Get laid with a big dick for once and leave poor 945 alone gutter slut.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Just don't get it in your eyes.
249,, that was funny ! :)
better than the op!! :)
Shampoo is the best lube
Massachusetts represent!! Goo Massholes... Bahstin<3
11:34 is just desperate for a big black cock.
Conditioner is better. Shampoo can sting.
Aha cute :p
and p.s. 11:14 if you're telling the truth... call me ;)
I've used mayonaise as lube before. It was her idea.
If this text was written by a girl...good luck w/ that impending yeast infection.
12:11 a girl would never be dumb enough to use shampoo as lube. That stuff goes INSIDE us. Can you say yeast infection from hell??
I'm jacking off in my bed right now
11:14, i'm impressed .. but wouldn't a dick as long as that cause internal damage, as suggested by 8:51
..but we'll be careful ;)
I got a 7 inch dick :) jealous much?
My dick is 75 inches long. Or in other words, he's 6'3"....but I sure do love him.
In soviet russia shampoo uses YOU as lube!!!!!
Uh owww!! Really I get wet in a half a second and I mean dripping wet. U might wanna get that checked out
Just use conditioner retards you don't peal