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  • No one is worth the sensation of burning and stinging crotch.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:02pm
  • Lol I've used body wash before....wow did I really just say that...I'm fucking pathetic

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:36pm
  • Conditioner is better

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:14pm
  • It truly amazes me how little people know about anatomy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:02pm
  • 9:45 you've never actually measured your boyfriend's penis with a ruler because he won't let you. You are just guessing based off of how much porn you watch and you are guessing wrong.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:56pm
  • Please never reproduce u loser skank whore.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:09pm
  • I have an 8 inch coxk, and I wanna put it in a hott girls bum

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:04am
  • my dick is 65 inches long

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:14pm
  • ...thanks a lot, asshole. Now I'll never be able to use Pantene Pro-V again without thinking of some douche like you jacking off with it. Stick to the Vaseline next time, please?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:22am
  • 1117 is obviously a dumbass niggra...they should all be sterile. Maybe just a flash a radiation at birth? Well just the ones born on welfare...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:34pm
  • No 8:55, that's the length of the region with enough nerves to feel the length of it. Girth? Definitely. Length? Not so much.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:12pm
  • Makes my pubes shiny and manageable!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:03pm
  • Use your mom's facial scrub lotion next time for much success.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:03pm
  • conditioner is better. i leave the hair silky and smoooooth.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:00am
  • ...yeah....

    Submitted by Lamar15 on Mar 27, 11 at 3:17pm
  • Ur dick is going to turn purple and fall off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:33pm
  • You used it not so much because it is "better" so much as it was due to you being lonely and ugly,

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 10:04am
  • Have fun with your infection. Seriously, not EVERYTHING is a healthy replacement for lube.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:22pm
  • Stay classy Massachusetts

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:13pm
  • keep it in your pants 11:14. if possible.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:22pm
  • hahaha 10:26 thats fucking glorious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:29pm
  • lololol 9:56 - your right

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:06pm
  • @ 8:51: Is that what your gf told you to make you feel better about your four incher?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:55pm
  • i wouldn't have a problem with this site if the whole user submitting process wasnt a big lie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:21pm
  • wow 11;30 has clearly never developed a sense of humor....oviously the kid that said 65 inches was joking. no need to take everything literally, jackass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:34pm
  • 9:45 don't flatter youself, shut your mouth and get back to being the fat ugly virgin loner you are :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:25pm
  • Well known fact: Those who state a dick size are tellin nothing but lies ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:28pm
  • I did it once and it stung for three days then my skin started peeling off and I had to pull skin off my 8 inch dick and part of my ball sack. One of the most painful experiences ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:59pm
  • To all you dumbasses who are bragging about ur dick size, or ur boyfriends dick size, suck on this: a woman can only feel 4 inches of it, and any more than 8 inches will do serious internal damage.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:51pm
  • im gonna jerk off.. any hot guys wanna suck me? ohioo guy a t y a h o o d o t c o m

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 8:26pm
  • Why would a girl get yeast infection of shampoo?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:57pm
  • Your pussy is hard? Uh. No.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:56am
  • Haha 8:51 is so full of shit "a woman can only feel 4 inches" that's the biggest load of crap. My first was 5.5 in. Sex was boring

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:54am
  • What is lube used for??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:59am
  • Seven inch dick??? My bf has a foot long...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:48pm
  • One of my friends once used lipgloss as lube

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:40pm
  • 11 40 soap doesn't kill bacteria unless its anti-bacterial...so shampoo wouldnt do anything i used body wash the other day in the shower, the only problem was the water washed all of it away and there was too much friction, that was not good. and 12 11 ive used shampoo plenty of times, youd have to be an idiot not to wash it off when your done. then your dick wouldn't peel

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:02pm
  • Lol, conditioner sounds safer

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:24pm
  • Love that:) we need more tv add references lol

    Submitted by dodgycabbage on Jun 30, 10 at 11:20am
  • Has to be a girl... Very guy learns at 12/13 that shampoo makes your dick peel and I fuckin hurts for a couple days... There's an old SNL skit about a "scaling cream" hahahaha it had Steve Martin in it I think

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:11am
  • €==========================3

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:28am
  • I've used Shampoo before, not smart. I causes cracking on the skin. Not sure if it's actually skin or if the shampoo that leaves some kind of film that is IMPOSSIBLE to wash off. But I'll just say it's very painful to peal off. I was even dumb enough to try it with different brands. Same result. But on my behalf, it's tough to find something to pass as lube in your parent's house when you're 15.

    Submitted by MovieGuru on May 29, 10 at 10:03pm
  • You mean -6.5? 65 would most likely be taller then you my failure friend. Little kid.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:30pm
  • 1125. Why do people like you have to assume like that. How the fuck do we know what anyone looks like? Your prolly just trying to make yourself okay about being a failure at life and a fat fuck yourself. So don't make yourselfff out to be holyer than thou.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:30pm
  • i think everyone is missing the point of this website; the whole idea behind it is for people to post the dumb things that they do so that we can get a good laugh. masturbating with shampoo is clearly not the best idea, therefore it is funny. i think everyone needs to relax.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 9:43am
  • Omg really people. No one has ever had a big dick before? Like an 8 incher. Why is everyone getting all butt hurt over what 945 said? Maybe he/she has a big bf. Whoooo caresssss. And whyyyyy do people have to insult him/her?? Fuck.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:00am
  • did you use no tear soap so your eyes wouldn't burn?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:16pm
  • I would usually never post on here, but "9:56" is actually right about his/her first statement... And most of you all are just serious idiots. And 11:28- I agree. And as someone else posted earlier, i don't give a fuck about you or any of your boyfriends dick sizes.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:35am
  • Almost funny--nice progress

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 11:03am
  • 956 stfu maybe he/she did measure and your just upset because your too ugly to get laid period. So youuu resolve to watching porn. And wishing you even had a bf to guess his dick size.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:58pm
  • @9:11 You're my hero. I've used conditioner before it was in the shower and a fun time ;p Merry Christmas

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:16pm
  • Nice pun :) very funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:05pm
  • I'm a girl. I've done that and never got a yeast infection or any type of infection... why are people insisting you will...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 24, 10 at 1:47am
  • Don't let it dry on there cause it'll hurt like a bitch later

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:54pm
  • 9:47, that would be Billy Madison.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 10:01am
  • Okay this can't be a chic because...seriously ow. It could be someone who has never actually gotten soap products in that area and just made up a text. I'm thinking fail.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:59am
  • 9:45pm - Is obviously a fat, sloppy virgin. No guys dick is 9 inches. Get urself a lay

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:21am
  • criso and garnier conditioner also work well

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:43pm
  • Woa. Why is everyone hating on poor 956? Lol. And WTF cares about your bfs dick size!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:22pm
  • @ 3;21 - Uhh yeah there are guys that have 9 inch wangs.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:26am
  • 11:30, did everyone use it as a jump rope on the playground?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:36pm
  • Ooo. Eat me out baybe! Suck and lick my hot wet hard pussy!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:22am
  • U where better off with spit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:41pm
  • Because soap kills all tht good bacteria in the vagina that fight of bad bacteria that give you infections. If soap gets like innnn there. Not just a wash up.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 11:40pm
  • It's not about the length as much as how he knows how to use it. I wouldn't trade my guy for anything in the world.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:11pm
  • If you're not even able to get wet, maybe you're not that worthed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:45pm
  • @8:51 Is that how you make yourself feel better my bf has between 8.5-9 and I don't have serious internal damage. However your little pea shooter has evidently given you serious psycological damage.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:45pm
  • Woooowwww little arument we got goin on here. All I gotta say iz 956 u gotta stop bein such a hard ass and stop actin like u got sum expirience cuz u dnt got shit. How u know her/hiz bf dnt get sum kix measurin hizself?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:17pm
  • bottle of lor'eal shampoo - 5$ --- clean pubes afterwards - priceless

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 29, 09 at 11:44pm
  • Are you people pretending that this isn't normal? I've done this hundreds of times, why lie about it? I prefer liquid body soap like the guy a few posts before me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:52pm
  • my dick is 65 FEET long.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:30pm
  • Hahahahaha must use l'oreal!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:13pm
  • 10:58<3 9:56 your too lame for words. Get laid by and stfu

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:08pm
  • Doesn't that dyin it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:19am
  • Texas as in Cody from Dallas? Fuck no...I tried shampoo years ago...definately not the most glorious moment in my life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:52pm
  • there was this kid in middle school who went to the hospital for jackin off with shampoo. now he's known in high school as "SHAMPOO" lmao!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:35pm
  • This Mexican dude used a k-mart bag for a condom on this one chick.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:52pm
  • or at least olive oil! hahahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:35pm
  • 2:49 I fuckinlove you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:59pm
  • NEVER SHAMPOO YOUR DICK/ PUBES. it's easily the most painful experience I have ever had. My dick became blackened and I couldn't get it up for weeks. I thought I accidentally sterilized myself. It was HORRIBLE.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:23pm
  • Ive used it before, it felt good

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:04pm
  • Conditioner is better. Shampoo can sting.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:08am
  • when I anally masturbate... I just don't wipe first... Lube enough.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:26pm
  • "Shampoo is good....but conditiona is betta." Name that quote.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 9:47am
  • Did someone really refer to their boyfriend as a footlong? I feel like we are talking about a subway sandwich.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:21am
  • 12:00 lol that's what i was thinking! stop looking at me swaaaaaan!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:39am
  • Massachusetts represent!! Goo Massholes... Bahstin<3

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:10pm
  • 249,, that was funny ! :) better than the op!! :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 6:08pm
  • 11:34 is just desperate for a big black cock. bitch.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:42pm
  • Lather, rinse, repeat. Just don't get it in your eyes.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:02am
  • @321 your fucking stupid. Just because you haven't ever had a big dick in your life and settle for below avarage sloppy seconds doesn't mean that a guy can't have a 8.5 inch dick. Get laid with a big dick for once and leave poor 945 alone gutter slut.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:52pm
  • That shit burns if used anally

    Submitted by IcedMango on Nov 6, 10 at 4:47am
  • Aha cute :p and p.s. 11:14 if you're telling the truth... call me ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:22pm
  • Shampoo is the best lube

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:20am
  • 12:11 a girl would never be dumb enough to use shampoo as lube. That stuff goes INSIDE us. Can you say yeast infection from hell??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 4:15am
  • If this text was written by a girl...good luck w/ that impending yeast infection.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:38pm
  • I've used mayonaise as lube before. It was her idea.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:19pm
  • I'm jacking off in my bed right now

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:11pm
  • 11:14, i'm impressed .. but wouldn't a dick as long as that cause internal damage, as suggested by 8:51 ..but we'll be careful ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:24pm
  • I got a 7 inch dick :) jealous much?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:37pm
  • In soviet russia shampoo uses YOU as lube!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:21pm
  • My dick is 75 inches long. Or in other words, he's 6'3"....but I sure do love him.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:49pm
  • Uh owww!! Really I get wet in a half a second and I mean dripping wet. U might wanna get that checked out

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:53pm
  • Just use conditioner retards you don't peal

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 11:12pm