Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
