He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
