I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She tied me up with her honor cords...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
