i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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