He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
