Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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