I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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