just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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