Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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