So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
