Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she smelled like a LAN party
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize