Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Let's paint friendship bongs
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
