he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
