Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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