did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
