Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
