how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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