Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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