Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
