Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
pray to the hookup gods
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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