ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
