i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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