would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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