his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
