dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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