i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We are all done wearing pants today
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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