Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
