so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
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Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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