It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
