Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
