Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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