just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
