help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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