just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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