Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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