So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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