The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
