Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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