Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
