I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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