apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
