So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you didnt know i had herpes?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
