My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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