just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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