6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
