Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
