I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
