big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize