Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Randomize
