but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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