good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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