Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Are we still banned from the library?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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