No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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