My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Walk of Shame today included voting.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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