how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
