would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
